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Oct 272010

Last night I awoke to my wife getting off the couch and running to the back of the house. Yes, I happened to have fallen asleep on that same couch as well. However, she heard O crying while I was deep in my little piece of heaven I call sleep. By the time I got back to the kids’ bedroom Jake was standing up crying and O was laying in her bed crying. The boss told me that O had peed her bed!

Side Note: O hasn’t worn a diaper in a couple of weeks now and this was the first time she’d ever had an accident in bed!

Where was I? Oh right, O was laying in her own pee. Well of course I felt just awful and wanted to do something. As you would’ve imagined I jumped to the task! I swooped O out of bed, carefully mind you, laid her on the changing table and proceeded to clean up the mess. With one fail swoop I whisked the sheets (including mattress pad) off the bed and with the other hand successfully managed to place both new mattress pad and sheet on the crib. Within 22 seconds O was sound asleep in her crib again with changed clothes and all.

Okay, that’s not exactly what happened. It turns out that being a Dad with sleep deprivation whose name happens to be Josh is a complete bone head at midnight when woken from a sound sleep. You see when I got in the room I understood what was happening and yes I felt so awful for her. What I didn’t get was what to do next! The boss had to instruct me in the following ways:

The Boss: Take her out of bed and change the sheets

Me: Okay….

The Boss: Okay, the sheets are in the Armoire

Me: Okay….

The Boss: The mattress pad goes on first

Me: Okay…

The Boss: Take your time I have no problem holding Jake here and watching O while you do this (saracsticly).

Me: Okay…

The Boss: Change her clothes

Me: Okay…

The Boss: You actually have to place her back in her crib now

Me: Okay…

Once both babies were back to bed and all order had been restored I actually felt pretty good about myself. Albeit, dead tired and a bit shell shocked from the happenings of the last few minutes. What I wasn’t expecting was her reaction though! She turned to me and told me how upset she was with me. I couldn’t believe it! Yeah, well I guess she had to tell me how to do every single thing. I was an idiot! I was as useless as a ragdoll and what’s worse is I didn’t even know it!

So it got me thinking…Am I the only one this happens too? Do other wives have husbands that respond this way in similar situations? Do other Dads have brains that turn to much in similar situations?

Please, tell me I’m not a jerk! Tell me I’m not alone and that this is totally normal! If it’s not tell me that too though because I’m going to need some help!!

Oct 252010

If you’re a regular reader of this blog then you’re probably wondering if I fell off a cliff. If you’re not a regular here you might be thinking similar thoughts about my regularity (and I’m not talking about my bathroom schedule). I recently moved hosting providers and lost a couple of my posts so it doesn’t look like I’ve posted recently. In fact, I haven’t posted as much as I normally do.

Life has gotten the better of me and I’ve been so busy with work, the family, traveling, and my other efforts with Dads Talking. I’ve really missed writing and have so much to share with you. However, something came across me last night and I thought I’d share that instead. It’s a letter I’m writing to O and Jake and it goes something like this…

My Dearest Olivia and Jake,

For the last year or so I’ve taken on the approach that other people aren’t to blame for our actions. I do truly believe that  we may not be able to control what happens to us but we can control how we respond. I suppose on the larger picture we might think of horrible things like Bubby getting cancer or the time that I was held up at gunpoint and handcuffed. Of course these are times when it’s easy to see how we might allow forces outside of us to control our response.

Every day things happen to us, big and small; each of these times we’re still responsible for how we respond. Last night when I was setting up a digital frame in our Living Room you (Olivia) saw the frame turn on and started playing with it. I think you told the frame that you wanted to use Turkish as a language because it took me 2 hours to fix it and I couldn’t understand a word! The point is, I was very short with you and was visibly frustrated. Even though I didn’t yell or scold you, I sensed you saw my frustration because you must have apologized 5 times to me. I can’t imagine how old you might be when you read this but you’re two and a half today. If there’s one thing that Daddy knows it’s that two and a half year olds should be two and a half year olds. When you saw that shiny light go on that was your queue to go play with it! I should’ve never gotten upset with you like I did.

I realized afterwards that I wasn’t upset that our Frame could only be understood by someone living in Turkey. I was upset because I felt a lack of control. Even worse, it was a lack of control for the very constraints I put on myself. Most of the things that keep me so busy now a day are things I’ve put on myself. They’re choices I’ve made and as a result I’m suffering. I’m suffering because I have a million and one things to do and no time to do them. You should only reap the rewards from the work I do and should never have to consume any of the stress that gets unleashed as a result.

Again, you’ve reinforced a lesson I thought I learned but haven’t been practicing. I acted like a victim last night and with all my built up frustrations found some way deep inside to convince myself it was okay to get upset. I fell victim to my own weaknesses. For that I am very sorry. I’m upset with myself for responding the way I did but I do see a light of hope here.

You’ve helped me see something inside of myself that I might otherwise not have seen. Anybody can look at the surface of a picture but to get into the things that make the picture is something different. As you both grow and mature you’ll be faced with many situations where what’s on the outside, the surface, will appear one way. Pealing back those layers and understanding…really understanding what’s behind will allow you to embrace, nurture, and develop your inner self.

I love you both more than you’ll ever know. Just when I think I understand myself and the world around me I’m knocked back down with the thought that in a combined 3 years of life between the two of you I’m constantly growing, learning, and ultimately becoming a better Dad.

I am forever indebted to you both for giving my life purpose, substance and for giving me the greatest gift in the world…The gift of being your Dad.

Love always,


Oct 072010

Well yesterday’s post was a bit of a downer. Usually, I’m posting pics of O and Jake on Wednesday’s but I felt compelled to post that instead. So, I’m sorry for the late post but we’ll call this better late than never! Enjoy!

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