It was late afternoon and I had received a call at work from the wife. She works four days a week as a Lead Radiation Therapist. It happened to be that this was the one day a week she stays home with O and Jake. She had been in a lot of pain and thought that she pulled a muscle in her back. Having back problems never occured to me in the past but since having kids I’ve come to realize it’s only a matter of time. Given the severity of her pain I thought it’d be best if I came home to help her.
Shortly after getting home she took off for Urgent Care. I spent some time with O and Jake while trying to finish up some work I had to do. At one point Jake actually wound up falling asleep in my arms which was terribly sweet. I know those days are numbered and I’m going to cherish those moments forever.
The wife came back with a story that really got under my nerves. She told me that the Dr. who saw her started questioning about her breastfeeding. Jake is 17 months and she still partially breastfeeds him.
Dr. Ignoranus: Are you breastfeeding?
The Wife: Yes
Dr. Ignoranus: How much does your baby weigh?
The Wife: 27 pounds
Dr. Ignoranus: Wow, he’s big! How old is he?
The Wife: 17 months.
Dr. Ignoranus: Well, this may be a sign you should stop breastfeeding.
The Wife: Why is that?
Dr. Ignoranus: Well, he’ll be hitting “the terrible two’s” soon and it’s going to be really hard to ween him if you wait much longer. Plus, it’s putting this extra stress on your back.
The Wife: **dumbfounded**
When she shared this conversation with me, I was pissed!! Terrible Two’s? Weening? The answer to solving your back problem?
Furious!
Both my wife and I have been advocates for breastfeeding. Part of the reason more women don’t breastfeed is because there are ignorant health care professionals out there that disuade Moms from doing so. Why?? I haven’t the slightest clue but it’s robbing a natural birth right of the Mom! For millions of years Moms have been breastfeeding their babies. Two thirds of the world still practices breastfeeding. Look I’m not saying that there aren’t physical or medical reasons not to breastfeed. I’m saying that for your “normal healthy” Mom she should be encouraged to breastfeed. Again, if you’re a Mom and you cannot for whatever reason that doesn’t mean you’ve failed or are wrong in anyway. I’m just speaking to the encouragement of breastfeeding from the public.
Dr. Ignoranus brought up the “terrible two’s” and back problems as reasons to ween. What? First of all, how in the world does she know that Jake is going to go through the “terrible two’s”? Second of all, you don’t stop breastfeeding cause it’s going to take an extra week to ween. That’s just stupid! She continued to say that she should stop because she pulled her back muscle. What? Oh, so if I injure myself eating, should I just stop eating? How about encouraging her to excercise or hold Jake a little differently? Just ridiculous!
Anyway, as you might be able to tell I’m a bit livid about this. It bothers me that my wife received unsolicited advice and completely ignorant and incorrect advice at that about the raising of Jake. I’m all about giving advice, I do it all the time. But this is ridiculous.
If you’re a dad or about to be a dad and are reading this? Please, support your wives as best you can. No, we don’t actually have baby sucking on our nipples…Thank GOD!! But if this is something you’re wife is pursuing, encourage her the best you can. Just because you’re not physically breastfeeding doesn’t mean you can’t help her with purchasing products she might need (like Lansinoh breastpads, creams, etc.). I’m not going to get into the benefits of breastfeeding on this post but Dads you should own this responsibility and really, “Gift” as much as your wives do. Support breastfeeding, support your wives, and question all the time when it comes to the health, safety, and well being of our little ones.
Supporting your wife in whatever decision she makes whether it be to breastfeed or not is very important. I agree with you that this doctor should not have been giving weening advice. Furthermore, I clearly wasn't at the appointment to hear how the doctor put it, but I personally think the doctor does have the right to state that breastfeeding your two year old might be the cause of the back pain.
Again, it all comes down to what is best for your wife and Jake. If she is in severe pain and the only thing in her lifestyle that could be causing this pain is holding him to breastfeed then maybe that should be something you all need to talk about and think about changing. Maybe there are ways she can help the back pain and continue to breastfeed. It sounds like the plans were to continue to breastfeed so I hope there is something that can help.
Listen, I understand why you are upset. Hopefully my comments are not taken in a harsh way.
Josh, You should be a lactation consultant. You seem to know a lot about breasts.
LOVE this article!!! I am still breastfeeding my 14 month old and also suffer from back pains but I can't believe a doctor would even suggest it was due to breastfeeding.
Thats nuts, can't believe the doctor was pushing his own personal belief like that. Cool photo too, did you take that?
That is crazy! I only breastfed my babies until they were each about 13 months, but never got anything but support from my husband, family and doctors.
I am so sorry she had to hear that.
Breastfeeding is hard work. Weaning is hard work. Somebody else telling you if you should or should not breastfeed and when you should wean (unless there is a serious health risk) is ridiculous!
Way to be supportive of your wife! I love it!!
Dude, you are a better man than me. I would have resorted back to my youth and gone to kick that dr's ass. My wife has breastfed all 4 of ours and she is still bf-ing our 21 month old. She is a huge promoter of bf-ing. I am glad you and your wife are proud of Breastfeeding (Bf-ing was starting to sound dirty) And I 1000% agree with you in showing support in this and anything. Awesome. Awesome and I have to say Congrats to your wife also for not going to jail after what I thought would have been a for sure knockout of the Dr.
First, I love the photo! Nothing cuter than an infant flipping the bird. I am appalled that a doctor would suggest she stop breastfeeding. It angers me. Sticking to breastfeeding can be difficult enough without doctors discouraging women. Your wife is lucky to have a supportive husband like you!
AMEN!!! Thank you for being a supportive positive voice for breastfeeding. It's refreshing to hear that a man sees the benefits and is willing to support his wife. Your wife's doctor is indeed an ignoramus!
I agree that that is not the best thing to say although assuming he is not a OB or pedaitrician, he may not have positive views about BF beyond a year or so. Just because he is a doctor, does not mean he is always going to say the right thing not to offend a patient. He def did not choose the best response to say to a BF mom. Everyone is going to have a different opinion about everything. Not worth getting so upset about, just see a different doctor next time!
What a dumbass! And good for you & your awesome Bfing wife for not listening to this moron.