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Jun 262012

There is something to be said for the huge responsibility weighing on our shoulders as parents. What’s even more straining is being in a position to help a child’s self-esteem flourish all while knowing you may have your own challenges with esteem. It’s not surprising that so many of us have issues with our own sense of self. After all, our parents weren’t given tools to help “fill our buckets”.

Perhaps if we’re going to really take on this mission of “filling buckets” we need to start with filling our own. Of course, that’s much easier said than done. However, just being aware that becoming more fulfilled personally brings a flow of fulfillment to others could be enough.

So while we consider the best approaches (and by the way, there’s no one-best way to approach this) consider giving yourself some loving tender in the process. We may have the added responsibility of nurturing our children but we can’t forget the story of The Goose That Laid The Golden Eggs. If all of our energy is spent caring for those little eggs (our children) we’re going to run out of steam and perhaps self-esteem.

Be well to your children, Be well to yourself!

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  18 Responses to “Filling The Bucket of Children’s Self-Esteem”


    Lovely, succinct post Josh. Built around a great quote too. Growing up is never easy, but I think that kids these days have it particularly tough.


    Great advice. We may give our all to our children but let’s not forget our ourselves.


    It’s such a tricky concept. My folks did everything they could to make me feel loved, but I distinctly recall my low self esteem as I entered college. What did they miss? Why did I have that opinion of myself?

    One lesson I learned looking back is how helpful it is to let your children do some things on their own. That, I think, will go a long way toward making them feel good about what they can accomplish.


    This is so true! While you may be a great parent, you’re going to be an even better parent if you are happy – this is why I take a little time for myself every week. It’s the time I need to recharge and work on my needs, which gives me the energy (and patience) that I need to help my children. Great post! :)


    I loved this post. Parents underestimate (as I will surely do one day when I become one) how much their kids care about what they think. Showing that you both love, and accept them is the greatest thing you can do as a parent.


    That’s one of my favorite quotes and I try to make sure I do that with my children each and every day. Thanks for sharing!


    Enjoyed your post!
    Self esteem can be so tricky for our children and you are right for ourselves too.


    I am new to your blog and this was the first post I read…love it! It’s so tricky to take care of yourself and do all the things you “think” you should be doing..but the reality is very few of those things actually need done…these kids could teach us a lot! My daughter challenged me and asked why it was so important that she picks up her room to my specifications…I realized it really wasn’t that important :)


    Great post! I just finished rereading “Wild at Heart” by John Eldredge. It really gets to the core of the self-esteem issue of ourselves and children. It is really important for us to answer the question that every child is asking their parents.
    “Am I good enough?”


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    Great post. You hit the nail on the head. We can’t do enough in this world to build into our kids and set them up to succeed. We’re always trying to equip ourselves in this regard. We just got a copy of a brand new book, well renewed, so to speak, that aligns with what you’re saying. It’s called “She Calls Me Daddy: 7 Things You Need to Know About Building a Complete Daughter,” by Robert Wolgemuth. The original book came out in the 90s, a best-seller, has been updated for today. His girls are grown up and give their own input along with their husbands who are daddies to girls. I understand 40% of the book is new material. It’s so unique in this way. Robert puts the anxieties of Daddy raising his girl(s) to rest, guiding you through challenges and good times – protecting, conversation, affection, discipline, laughter, faith, conduct. So great for helping daddies learn to lead, love and cherish. An invaluable investment. I highly recommend it!


    Very good point. How can we hope to help someone else boost their self esteem when we can’t help ourselves? We are models for our children, in more ways than we can count, and sense of self worth is included in that.


    An admiral idea, it is all too often the case that in trying to look after our children we neglect ourselves (especially mentally)


    The most challenging part of it all is balancing discipline, empowerment, and letting them take chances and win from time to time, while remaining consistent.


    This is incredible. As parents we often forget how important it is to build our children up. I know as parents sometimes when our self esteem is low we take it out on our kids, and it breaks my heart when I catch myself doing this. This is truly an inspiring post today!


    Great post. I just found your blog. This is such an important point. I have a bit of a broken family past, but now am the father of two great, young boys. I work to build their self esteem every day; not by sheltering, but by being active with them, encouraging them to take on new challenges, and understand that failure is a part of every road to success… This quote seems to cover both sides of the coin; building the esteem and the resilience to withstand life’s hole poking…


    Wright in the top. Such agree with your meaning.

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