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Mar 262012

As you’ve probably been aware from some of my more recent posts I’ve been doing quite a bit of “self discovery” work. In fact, I’ve been working through a very formal program over the last 8+ months in which I’ve logged well in excess of 200 hours. My time has been spent in both group and individual settings in which I’ve worked through so many old hurts.

In fact, I would say before I started my work I was an extreme co-dependent. I couldn’t identify very well with “who I was”, I had no boundaries, plenty of false beliefs about who I was and who I wasn’t and for the most part was just not “aware”.

Since then I’m very confident in who I am. I have great use, understanding, and awareness of my boundaries. I affirm myself daily and no longer hold false beliefs of not being good enough as well as others. I’ve rid myself (not all but a good majority) of old hurts, fears, and bad feelings. I now know how to identify with feelings and welcome all of them. I’m a much better husband, father, friend, and employee. In many ways I’m a completely different person. The last 8 months were certainly the hardest (in terms of self work) I’ve ever done. It would be akin to extreme dieting with mega workouts. I went places I never wanted to go (emotionally) and saw things I only wished prior would’ve stayed buried. I’ve learned that to get to the other side you have to go through hell first.

I would describe my journey as having been driven down the wrong road most of my life. Now, I’m on the right road. It’s a long road and one that will only end when I pass on. I will continue to learn and grow as I travel down this new road. The gift I have now though is the unlimited ability to not only love myself but everyone else around me. I’m so much more free now than I’ve ever been and plan to give more than I ever knew I was capable of.

With all this said, I’ve started another site called, www.TinyChunks.com. Don’t ask where I got the name. Have you tried searching the web for an available name that doesn’t sound completely horrible? Yeah, well that’s where I was left. The tag line as it reads today is “of Love” so I suppose “Tiny Chunks of Love” is a little more palatable and hopefully relatable to the content. So what is the content? Well I gave myself a challenge a week ago. I have a list of all the qualities of our inherent nature. All the qualities that you and I (everyone) are born with. I decided to take on the challenge of putting these single words into short sayings that could easily and quickly be read. It allows me to remind myself that I have these qualities and as important it’s a great reminder for all of you as well. It’s something that will ring true for you, your parents, your children, and everyone else around you. I’m hoping to put a little bit of a creative spin on them so they’re as interesting to read as they are to be aware of. Right now I’m planning to post one a day during the week. Of course, at some point I’ll run out and I’m not sure what will happen then. I’m also thinking of other things I might be able to do with the site as well. By all means if you have any recommendations I would love to hear them! 

Lastly, I want to mention that although I’ve been away a bit from DadStreet it’s still a site I have every intention on maintaining and posting on. I found myself talking more about “well being” as it relates to adults and DadStreet has always been about parenting. So in the future when I speak about “well being” I’ll do so in the context of parenting and our children.

I hope you check out www.TinyChunks.com and share whatever resonates with you. Of course, I also hope you continue to come back to DadStreet as I ramp up postings in the near future.

Much love to you all and thank you so much for your support!

Oct 272011

Well shoot! I was just getting over the fact that my regularity with posting has been well….not regular! I was just getting used to the bad feeling that I had over the fact that my blog seems to have lost a sense of direction.

Then today I get an instant message from a friend who says, “Congratulations on making Babble’s Top 50 Dad Blogs“. I’m like, “huh?”

I didn’t even know they had a Top 50 Dad List. Well apparently they never did and this was their first one. I try not to get too caught up on making lists like this. I’ve been fortunate enough to be called out on some other lists as well in the past. Some of them consisted of a “voting style” to rank bloggers. I really don’t like those as they not only can be fudged but tend to turn into a popularity contest or “let’s see who’s Mom can click vote for me the most times”. My mom could click really fast which is why I had some top 3 finishes! What’s different here is that the editors at Babble do the picking and it was all behind closed doors. Well I’m assuming the doors were closed. I suppose they could’ve been open but even if they were I didn’t see anything.

Anyway, I just barely squeaked into the list at #49 which I’m completely stoked and honored over. The problem is after the initial excitement wore off I started feeling really bummed out. I think what happened was I started revisiting all those things I was just starting to put aside (see 1st paragraph).

Honestly, this is really a good thing. I started my blog because I had something to say and I have a real passion for writing and more importantly for sharing. I haven’t been sharing lately and I really want to do more of that. I think what also might help is to not be so hard on myself. It’s my blog, I’m not making a living off of it, and I don’t need to put false expectations on myself or this blog.

Does the post have to have a certain amount of words?

Do I need amazing pictures to accompany my post?

Does it have to be the best post ever written?

Does the site have to be up and functioning? <— Okay, it kind of does

So no! It didn’t have to have any of these things (sans the last point). If sharing is really what I enjoy, which it is, then maybe I should stop asking myself so many questions and just share. Sometimes our hardest critics are ourselves and if what I share can resonate with just one person then I’ve done my job.

So here’s to me taking it easy on myself and going back to doing what I love to do which is sharing. Thanks Babble for helping me realize I don’t need to be on a list, I don’t need to meet someone else’s expectations, I just need to do what I love and that is sharing.

Oct 092011

I really miss my blog. The last few months for me have been quite busy . I’ve been doing a lot of personal work, which I plan on writing more about, as well as traveling, and just living life as a full-time working dad and husband. When I began writing it was a medium in which I was able to channel my thoughts and feelings about the things happening in my life. I’d have an experience or thought that I’d want to share and that would be the catalyst for me to post.

Not long after I began blogging did I start to do more work with brands. By “work with brands” I’m referring more to reviews, etc. I always thought I’d like doing reviews because generally I have so much to say about products and certainly ones that I like. However, I never intended for this site to be a review site. In addition, as I started doing more of these reviews I realized how stressful I would feel. I think it boiled down to having to now put timelines into what I was doing casually. In fact, I was actually blogging more before I started doing reviews. I’d receive a product, not have time to actually test it out and then wind up receiving countless follow up emails inquiring as to when I would be posting. Then the pressure of having to review an actual product and write about it set in, leaving me frustrated and stressed out.

Of course, having these unneeded commitments wasn’t the only thing that kept me away from writing on a more regular basis. I have been spending quite a bit of time over the last several months trying to find “self”. This may sound alien to most of you but I’ll explain later in a more detailed post. I used to be able to write late at night after everyone went to bed but for some reason when it gets dark out now, I’m just beat. Perhaps some of that has to do with some new responsibilities we have. Just about a month ago both O and Jake started Pre-School. That’s required us to prepare their clothes and breakfast/lunches the night before. In addition, instead of waking up and getting ready to leave for work we’re now getting both of the kids ready to leave the house before 7am. That is a serious chore!

Blogs mean different things to different people. Some people have a dedicated review blog. Others conduct giveaways and do a lot of brand promotion. While I’m not opposed to working with brands on one level or another (I’m on the eBay Parent Panel) I am finding that doing reviews isn’t really in alignment with what I want personally or for this particular blog. Lately I was feeling guilty and perhaps even a bit ashamed for not having posted on a regular basis. I think that’s okay too though. I don’t plan on giving up this blog or giving up my writing. There will be times in my life when I go through a period of time blogging daily and then other times where I may go for a few weeks without.

Could this inconsistency hurt me?

I’ve decided it can’t. Blogging isn’t my profession, it’s my passion. I am not my blog. Yes, what I write in my blog is me but whether the blog lives or dies has no relationship to my own personal well being. So I’m making a choice to stop feeling ashamed and to stop feeling guilty when I don’t make the time to blog. With that said, I do plan to start writing more and to start writing with more meaning and purpose. Writing when I really want to share something will be much more authentic than writing to meet some quota. I’ve realized I need more authenticity in my life and what better way to incorporate that than with my most deepest and personal stories I share with you.

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