What a day! We spent the majority of it in a car driving from Southern California back to Monterey. Normally this would be a five and a half hour drive, give or take.

With two kids?

Much longer.

To put it in perspective we stopped 4 times in just 20 miles!! Now, I’m a bit of a Roadtrip Nazi. I don’t like stopping. Especially when we’re going back home after a long trip. I just want to get there! You know? Well, O isn’t in diapers anymore so when she says she has to go, what do you do? It first started with Jake crying and it seemed he was just tired of sitting in the car. Totally get that. So we stopped off at a Shopping Center. Just before we were on our way O says, “I have to go potty”. So I take her in to a local Carl’s Jr.

Did I mention I love taking my two year old daughter into public restrooms?

No?

Oh! That’s because I hate it! Just the thought of her touching ANYTHING! Know what I mean?

So, I put like 6 toilet seat covers on the toilet, tell her not to touch A THING and carefully prop her up on top of the seat covers. She’s talking away and yet I’m not hearing any tinkle or the slightest plop! She never went. Ughhh…

Get on the highway and 3 minutes later…”I have to go potty”…”have to go poo poo”. So, we have this portable potty that she hasn’t been great at going on but we thought let’s give it a whirl. Now O is a private pooper. When we take her potty at home she tells us to “go to sleep” so we’re not looking at her. So now she’s on the front seat in the car sitting on this foldable portable potty. 10 minutes later….nothing. I did smell something and later found out that while O wasn’t pooping on the potty Jake was pooping in his diaper. Guess he figured, “if she’s not going to go, I am!”.

Back on the road after two stops, no poop and O tells us again. We thought she might have to really go since we know how she doesn’t like using the portable potty and we’re not too keen on poop in her undies in the car. I was wanting a Starbucks anyway and there just happened to be one just up the road. Can you imagine that? A Starbucks just up the road? I know…crazy!

So O is taking or should I say giving the poop of her life with The Boss while I have Jake. It’s about this time that I realize the smell I smelled earlier was actually emanating from Jake’s diaper. I confirmed it once I pulled my finger out of his diaper to realize it wasn’t chocolate on the end of it. Ack!!! So, I head to the car to change him. As I’m changing him I notice a car is trying to park next to us (I was changing him in the front seat and I had the door open). So I turn around to look and to try and close the door a bit. I was shocked at what I saw! A girl in her 20′s or early 30′s was pulling in to the spot and on her lap was an infant! I could not believe it! I was just floored!

Heading back into Starbucks to meet up with The Boss and O and just couldn’t get it out of my mind. I decided to call 911. By coincidence as I was talking to them in walked a cop. I gave the cop the 411 on the story and he went off to talk to her. Of course, nothing came of the situation but I felt better that I called.

So three stops down and back on the road O gives us one last, “I have to go potty”. I was about to pull my hair out at this point! As it turns out we needed gas anyway so I pulled over. She didn’t have to go but we did get gas so I suppose there was no loss there.

Back on the road for the last time we saw an amazing end to end double rainbow! It was soooo beautiful! All these cars were pulled over taking pics and it was such a sight. Overall, I’ve learned a couple of things on this trip.

First, don’t feed your children when going on trips longer than a few hours. If they eat they’ll have to go potty. You should just temporarily starve them and you won’t have to stop. Second, some people shouldn’t be allowed to have children. Lastly, a simple glimpse of natures beauty can take all your troubles away!