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Aug 092011
 

These two are always smiling and laughing. They’re so inquisitive and full of life, always taking in the world around them. I’d like to think my wife and I can take credit for some of the so many ways we’re proud of O and Jake. However, I’d be remiss if I didn’t also give a lot of that credit to our full-time Nanny.

Both my wife and I work full-time and after we went back to work, following Maternity/Paternity Leave, our Nanny watched O and Jake for the majority of the day. In just three weeks both of our babies will be moving on to the next phase in their childhood. They’ll both be starting pre-school and the woman they’ve come to know as “Loddy” (Her name is Elida but I guess that’s hard to say! lol) won’t be with them anymore. Of course this is sad for many reasons.

Elida does have some good things to look forward to as she is pregnant and expecting her second child in October. Despite her moving on from watching O and Jake you’d think this would be a joyous time. Unfortunately, her mind isn’t quite able to focus on delivering a healthy baby. Ultrasounds have found a tumor in the baby and growing to the point that it’s pushing on the heart. I’m not sure what the outcome is at this time but they are monitoring the baby very closely. It’s hard knowing she’s going to miss O and Jake and it’s hard knowing I can’t do anything to help her with the tumor in her unborn child.

Just today Elida came to work as usual. Only this time she shared with us how her family woke up to having their bikes stolen! Both Elida and her husband are very hard working people and have done so much for our family. Why people need to resort to taking from others like this is absurd and it really bothered me.

While I can’t do anything about O and Jake moving on to pre-school nor can I do anything about her baby’s tumor, I can about this. I sent out a single tweet this morning concerning my disappointment and immediately received people willing to help. I also mentioned something on my Late Night Parents Show last night and had the same amazing feedback.

I was very appreciative for the feedback I received and really want to help Elida get the bikes back that were stolen from her husband, her son, and her. I know they don’t have a lot of money and won’t be able to replace them on their own. I just feel that at this time they should be celebrating and enjoying the pregnancy and the time spent watching O and Jake. Instead this is just one more thing that weighs on her mind at such a critical time for her emotional well being.

I’m not sure how I’m going to do it but I feel compelled to get Elida’s family some new bikes. They deserve a little goodness in their lives right now and I feel a sense of responsibility to help make that happen. We may not be able to prevent others from taking but we can surely have control over what we give.

Feb 142011
 

Okay, like an idiot I realize, “Oh Geez…Maybe I should’ve written a different post…Oh I don’t know…maybe something that had to do with Valentine’s Day!!! Well, I’m a guy so give me some slack! Either way, I wish all of you a sweet Valentine’s Day! So, here goes the post that should’ve been a Valentine’s Day post.

Is giving something that you learn or is it something that is given to you? In otherwords, are you taught to give? I ask myself these questions from time to time. I have a really close friend who is always thinking of others. We could be out somewhere and he just automatically notices others that are in need. It’s like he has a built in radar to know that someone is in distress or in need of some kind of help. I, on the otherhand, don’t notice this at all. Of course, if it’s right in front of my face I do but in the normal course of the day I don’t have that “giving” instinct. I want to “give” whether it’s my time, my money, or my assistance. It’s just not something that comes naturally to me. Of course, I notice when others do it, like my friend. Immediately after I see an act of giving I think of how nice it was. Then I’m overcome with a sense of guilt and depression that I’m not wired that way. So I ask again…is the act of giving something that we’re born with or is it something we’re taught?

The more involved I get with blogging and social media the more I’m presented with products and offers from different companies. Recently I was given a very nice product that I just wasn’t able to use. My first thought was that I would run a promotion or contest either here or on www.LateNightParents.com or on www.DadsTalking.com. My thought was that it would be giving something nice to someone who follows me or one of the other projects I work on. Of course, the benefit for most of these blogs that give away things are the traffic it draws. People love having the opportunity to win something and it’s no surprise that when a site gives away a valuable prize it will draw a lot of attention. I suppose this really begs the definition of “giving”. The reality of the matter is that you’re giving something away (yes, to help someone out) but to generate that traffic in return (in the case of a blog). I’m not saying this is bad. I’ve actually only done one giveaway on DadStreet but that’s not to say I wouldn’t again. I just think we need to be real with ourselves if we’re going to call it “giving”.

This time was a little different for me though. There was someone on Twitter who had been reaching out to me with questions and seeking advice about parenting, etc. I knew that she was giving birth in a few short months. To my knowledge she had no blog, no major following in the way that I would benefit from any publicity. She was just (from what I saw) a really nice person who was about to experience the most amazing thing in the world, a baby. So, I did something very unusual for me. I gave her that product. You must understand. While I feel like I have a good heart and good intentions overall I’m just not Mr. Giving. It’s nothing more than I just don’t “think” about it even though I really wish I did. Well I have to say what I did was a bit infectious. It felt really good!! It made me want to do it again!

I don’t know how O and Jake will be when they grow up. Will they inheret my lack of natural giving? My wife is much more giving than I am as a whole so maybe they’ll get it from her. To be honest I just don’t know. One thing I do know is that I want them to grow up to be giving people. I want them to give in both time, resources, and emotion. I want them to be able to recognize when a legitimate need is there. To know that when there is that need they can quickly assess their ability to help/give and then do so. My wife and I have already started talking about giving away some of their unused toys. Mainly when they get a new toy they would give their older toy to someone else who could use it. We want them to physically give the toy so they’ll experience it themselves. I think starting now when they’re both so young is key.

It’s amazing what gifts I’ve been given just from having O and Jake. Something that I’ve been given is the ability to recognize the things I want to give them that I don’t already have. No, I’m not talking about material possessions. I’m talking about things like the gift of giving. Knowing that it is something that hasn’t been part of my natural make up I need to really incorporate it into my life. I’ve always felt I’ll never be successful of giving O and Jake the tools I want them to have if I don’t already possess them.

To ensure they grow up with the “gift of giving” will not only be the greatest gift I’ve ever received but the greatest gift I’ve ever given.

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