My Dearest Sweet Little Princess,
I dreamt of you long before you were ever born. I didn’t know what you would look like, how you would smile or laugh or cry but I knew you were meant to be in my life. Little did I know it would be so hard to have you. Mommy and Daddy tried for 4 years before going to special doctors. Those doctors told us we’d have less than 10% chance of ever having you and that was with special treatment (IVF).
Our waiting was over on a Thursday evening, April 17, 2008. All that waiting and dreaming came to an end when we met. I’ll never forget that day for as long as I live. I remember bringing you home and feeling fulfilled and complete.
My heart overflowing with emotion, my brain overflowing with excitement.
I’ve always given great thought to how I would raise you, what things I would teach you, the things I’d want you to learn. You surprised Daddy though…It didn’t take me long to realize the focus wouldn’t be on what I would be giving you but what you would be giving me.
I never realized just how much I needed to learn and just how much you would teach me. You’ve taught me so much about myself. You’ve shown me how to look inside and see what’s really important in life. I always thought I knew what kind of father I wanted to be. Of course, I had ideas and thoughts about what it would be like once you were here. I just never knew how much I would be redefining my role once you were here.
You’ve helped to shine a light on what a father should be. Of course, I’m still figuring this out but now I have something look to. Whenever I wonder about what kind of father I want to be, you help me first think about what kind of father I want you to have. Only then can I truly see what I need to do to be that Father.
I want to be the father that I want you to have.
Of course, now I’m realizing how quickly the time is flying and how quickly these opportunities pass. I love every part of your life. I loved the screaming and crying at 2:00am when you were 4 months old. I loved the first baby steps at 13 months old. I loved the first potty visit at 16 months old. How could I forget your big girl 2nd birthday? So much has happened over these last 3 years. I just don’t want you to grow up anymore. I’m looking forward to our future but I’m so sad for our present is turning into our past. I don’t want to miss any part of your life and the idea that I just want to sit and revel in every small moment with you knowing I can’t hurts.
What doesn’t hurt is knowing you are in my life and that the last 3 years will surely lead to many, many more equally amazing years ahead. It is true you’ve taught me so much in the last 3 years and I hope that one day you may think I’ve taught you just as much. You were in my dreams just over 3 years ago and now you’re in my world, my life, and my heart. Words will never fully describe what you mean to me and how much you are a part of me. I can only hope that one day you’ll know this not because of what I say but because of what I am, what I do.
You are Daddy’s little Princess and I love you more than words. Happy Birthday my sweet girl.
